M E M O R A N D U M
TO: All Minions Valued Members of the Bill Gates Family
DATE: 27/07/2011
FROM: Timothy Basinger
Okay, I’ll admit it; we may have made a slight oversight. As it transpires the thefts were coming from within T.H.E. Charity. Boy are our faces red. As a result I regret to report that those fingernail samples may have been a bit unnecessary. Pulling out the whole fingernail without anaesthesia was definitely “overkill” on our parts but, at the time, we were kind of working on a whole “better safe than sorry” pathos. The lack of painkillers, well that was more of a budgetary thing, you know how much anaesthesia costs? Surprisingly cheap actually, but needles! Don’t get me started. If you’re not fishing them out of a crack den they cost an arm and a leg. All I’ll say is; you guys wanted twisty top pens and we had to find some room in the budget so lie in your bed and all that.
Anyway, as far as the backstabbing harlot bitch goes, she will be receiving due punishment in due time so worry not. On a slightly unrelated note, I’ve received a lot of compliments about my budget cut joke in the previous Memorandum. Oh if only that were the case, we are in for a financial Holocaust dwarfed in severity only by the regular Holocaust.
Best of luck.
Dictated but not written by
Timothy “Overlord” Basinger
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