Meet The Tim

Date: 27/07/2011

Author: Timothy Basinger

M E M O R A N D U M

TO:                         All Minions Valued Members of the Bill Gates Family

DATE:                    27/07/2011

FROM:                  Timothy Basinger

Welcome gentlemen/chicks to T.H.E. Charity. An organisation started by a group of young visionaries who had a simple goal: to make the world a better place. Well, those young visionaries may be older and less coherent, but our collective goal remains the same. If you’re reading this then that means you’ve passed the rigorous screening process and have been deemed worthy by me to further humanities’ pursuit of better-ness. However if this is not the case and you are in fact an unauthorized personnel, please return this Memo to the appropriate member of staff you stole it from and report to a security officer. They’re the guys with the night sticks and guns, can’t miss them.

If you have any problems/questions please report to me and I will do my level best to compensate for your incompetencey. Under no circumstance should you talk to someone higher up than me, one time somebody did it as a joke and it didn’t end too well. Jokes are funny, you know what isn’t funny? Me firing you, if you don’t believe me just ask the other guy… Oh wait you can’t, because no-one knows how to find him.

But missing persons cases with insufficient evidence aside, if we’re going to be working together * we should get to know each other a little better. Thanks to the wonders of overly invasive personnel files I already know you better than you, your parents or your illicit bastard love child ever will. With that in mind, here are a few things about myself:

- I’m tough but fair

- I don’t like liars, cads or scoundrels

- Maroon 5 are better than Mr and/or Mrs Joe and/or Josephine public give them credit for

Well, we can’t spend all day chin wagging via one way Memorandums now can we, you best get back to work. So from all of us here at T.H.E. Charity; welcome and have fun.

*I know I said “working together” but I should make it abundantly clear now that it’s working together in that way where if I tell you to do something, you do it, because I’m your boss, so… let’s just nip that in the bud now.

Dictated but not written by

Timothy “Iceman” Basinger