I'm Stevie.

Date: 26/07/11
Author: Stevie Troost.

Alright. My name is Stevie, innit.

Wen I found out I had to write some s*** 4 the website, I f***** panicked. I’m not a writer. They said it’d be like bein back at school. I said ‘I didn’t go to f***** school’. I was out an’ about y’know. Makin’ the most of life, cotchin’, unlike those c*****. They said, write how you speak, So I am. They made me type it up. Spell check is an inspiration. That’s the rite word yeah?

Anyways, I work for this big computer guy, Bill Gates. You mite have heard of him; he did some s*** with a screen and a window or some ting. I stand on the street, in Shoreditch, and get people to give the charity money. I also hand out leaflets and s***. I work with dis proper fit bird, and I reckon I’m well in. She’s my type- she’s piking from the charity, but I don’t mind that. In fact I kinda like it.

Yeah, so it’s a charity. I don’t really get the connection, computers-charity, but whatever. Apparently, if BG gets merced, the charity gets his cash or somethin’.

I grew up all over. My mum and me lived in Langley, in 1 of the big towers you see when you drive up the M4 to the city. Knocked ‘em down now, I think. That was until about 2000. Then I ended up in Elephant and Castle, before goin’ up North for a bit, then over to Weston Super Mare. I heard it’s grim up north, but I think it’s more just s*** everywhere. This country is a s***hole. I went in2 the Marines for a bit, won some awards and was f***** great! Went back to London after that, an’ ended up here.

This is well boring. I can’t be a***** to do anymore. This is why I skipped school. Laters.