I agree...what ARE we doing here?

Date: 12/08/2011

Author: Sophie

Well it's been a while. Thanks to some archaic internet standards we've all been a little on the quiet side.
So news? Well, I'm wet, all the time. It's not so much a sexual condition as the sky's inability to prevent rainfall. It rains continuously and relentlessly here. With a forty minute walk between our venue and flat, it means that often we are arriving wet, flyering wet, getting more wet whilst flyering, then performing wet, going home wet, and sitting wet whilst watching idiots throw stones at flowerpots on the news before going to bed just slightly damp. I can't remember what being dry feels like.

It's been good though! I've been subsumed by plague for the past few days (which was absolutely miserably shit) but am on the up now, bar a lingering cough. It is fun to believe though that whilst in an incredibly scenic and gothic city, one can become consumed by a minor illness which, back in the city's era of creation, may have killed you.

However, now I sit, in the Edinburgh University union building, eating a cheese and brown sauce sandwich (my own personal recipe) after having just been to an interesting talk with Ideastap.

I have been doing a lot of thinking lately (yup, it hurt), mainly for the same reasons as Peter suggested before but also a little more abstract than that. I got to wondering about not only why we, Mechanical Tiger came here, but why anyone comes here. This might sound a little on the philosophical side but I'm being quite serious. This year Edinburgh plays host to 1305 shows. That is a ridiculous figure. It is overcrowded and impossible to discern one thing from another yet here we all flock. Because everyone knows that Edinburgh is THE place to be. But why?

The 'why' is, I think, this: There is an atmosphere here that is unparalleled by any other theatrical festival I have come across. I'm not talking about that 'community gung ho' feel that everyone gabbers on about, but a sincere, often violent and creative urgency that vibrates throughout Edinburgh at this time of year. It fascinates me because I have 'caught' this feeling both times I have come here. I emerge from shows I have watched feeling 'that's what I want to write...why can't I write it?' These are usually sharp, political shows that leave me feeling with the distinct sense that I have just seen something important. I have just seen something that, whilst may no longer exist in twelve months time, spoke to me directly as I sat there as being absolutely relevant and important. As being completely aware of the time in which it exists.

I also become overwhelmingly jealous of these sorts of shows. Not because they have found success where I have not (though I suspect an adolescent admiration may follow in that respect), but more to do with the fact that they have accessed an area of thought that I struggle with in everything I have ever tried to write. Thing is, I didn't even know what THAT WAS!? Until now...dun dun!....I think.

Zeitgeist.

Good word right?

I have realised Edinburgh is the festival of zeitgeist performance. Call me a wanker but that sums it up. I am talking predominantly about the writing, I mean who wouldn't want to write that ONE play that tackles THE issue of the age. That comedy that speaks to the heart of British people today. That musical that accurately pinpoints just exactly where modern music is going. The THING that leaves people running to their computers, emailing their friends saying 'Jesus Christ, watch THAT, because THEY GET IT!'

But I'm not talking about the writing alone, because this zeitgeist atmosphere doesn't just occupy the stilted creatives amongst us withering away in damp bedrooms. It manifests in the way people behave here as well. Ten minutes on the royal mile sees you exposed to hoards of young people racing around in white face paint, screaming euphemisms and feigning orgasms to get your attention. It's the most intense sense of urgency I have ever encountered. SEE MY SHOW NOW! NOT LATER! SEE IT BEFORE THEIRS, AND THEIRS, AND THEIRS! IT IS IMPERATIVE YOU SEE MY SHOW RIGHT THIS MINUTE!

No where else do you get that. Not at the West End, not in regional theatres. It is a uniquely fringe thing. It's such an interesting facet of the festival! The fact that it attracts young people from all corners of the globe, eager to make this month; their month; fervent in the belief that their outlet is representative of a belief, or a zeitgeist, that above all else must be given voice.

Of course this willfully ignores the other reasons, namely the fact that no matter how individual you believe your piece to be, sad fact is, in a festival with 1304 other shows, somebody probably has a similar idea. Also, this ignores the 'holy shit, I've spent so much money to get here, I have to make it back' sentiment.

But I think, to come here in the first place willfully ignores fiscal responsibility anyway! Nobody goes to Edinburgh for the money. Not really. I am not cynical enough to believe that people come here for glory either. I think, even if we are not aware of it, we are drawn by that sense of zeitgeist. Do we not always hear 'Edinburgh is THE place to go as a young performer'? Certainly I have. What is that if not an acknowledgment of zeitgeist? Albeit a very temporary, fiery and obviously annual one. But in that respect, what a reflection it is on the type of people and shows it attracts! Flashy, passionate, politicised, urgent, funny, rude, crass, at times utter shit and at times utter brilliance. All of this brought together by one festival deemed by long-term practice as 'THE place to be'. The slightly ironic thing is, we never know what the zeitgeist is until the success of one or two shows dictates the answer.

So in we all go, desperately believing our 'thing' is 'the thing' yet having not the single blindest idea of what the 'thing' actually is. The thing is ultimately decided by hype, media, repeat audiences, press attention and a shit load of twitter hashtags. But that doesn't stop everyone from trying to be 'that thing', and that's why everyone runs around the Royal Mile in face paint, or chases old women yelling 'SQUARE CUT PUNT!'

It is also why, I think, it is all too easy for us to become lost, or downhearted, if our 'baby' doesn't lift itself into the big bad world of Edinburgh fame. For all the love and attention and rehearsal time you give something, it does not mean other people will love it. Of course, neither does this mean your work is 'bad', but you must never be closed-minded to that idea either. What!? GOD FORBID!?

I believe self-awareness is a skill. There is little I admire less than blind pandering to a long-nurtured concept or the distancing of oneself from mass opinion BUT (massive but hence capitals), almost in complete contradiction, the greater skill is self-belief. Sometimes, the thing you put out there is not to everyone's taste. There is no clear cut answer. It is neither successful nor unsuccessful. It is the majority of Edinburgh shows.

It is 'ok'.

It is not the attention-grabbing, thought-provoking, cutting-edge, joke-a-minute prospect you dreamed it would be, but it WAS everything you allowed it to be, so it is then your duty to believe in it. Because (cliche alert) no one else will do it for you.

One thing we must never allow ourselves to do is be influenced by one loud opinion, or a negative review, or a downbeat mentality. Your baby, is the one you told the world was the most beautiful baby in the entire universe, then upon arriving at the fashion parade, you brought a hunchback.

So now you're petrified, 'oh my God! I bet they all think my baby is ugly! Christ...maybe it IS UGLY!'

Calm down. No one is saying anything. Sure, other people might disagree with you, but they are just the shouty ones. Look at all the other ones out there who can see past the weird eyes and fucked up back. They might really like your baby. It's certainly no excuse for you to abandon or lose faith in him, because he is your bloody hunchback baby, and you told everyone he was beautiful, including him. So don't be a chicken. Be brave, and proud of your contentious hunchback baby.

Moral of the story is to stop fucking hunchbacks.

So yeah, after all that...Edinburgh Fringe has something for everyone. But what future applicants should probably decide is 'are we that something for everyone?' What do you want to be? Do you want to be that show that steals hearts, that changes minds and makes waves? Or do you want to be that show that plays at 7pm, gets a few titters, a loud clap, and a fiver in the jar at the door.

Both are brilliant, both are necessary, and both have skill. But be aware of what it is you want your show to be and for god's sake don't change your mind half-way through. While the latter may leave an audience smiling and hankering after a pint, if it is not what you wanted your show to be, it will only leave you feeling down-trod, even when you have no bloody right to be.

There's a thought for you world! Oh and stop beating shit up, it's boring.